Dear Sweet Little Will,
Your story is simply perfect and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. With continued anticipation for your arrival I went to another regularly scheduled NST (non-stress test) and OB visit on the 6th at 1:00. During the stress test you were, as always, cool as a cucumber. There were mild contractions that showed up on the uteran activity monitor, but nothing that was too alarming. After about 30-40 minutes of being hooked up to the NST and your mommy enjoying her twice a week allotted reading fix (I was reading Traveling Mercies by Lamott), Dr. Wittman decided to go ahead and do another cervix exam to see how we were progressing along. To our surprise, within 24 hours I had progressed from 3 to 4 cm and maintained the 60 % effaced. Dr. Wittman seemed relatively surprised and shared that I could go into labor at any time...I believe her words were, "You could go into labor today or you may stay at this stage for a week. I'm on call on Sunday so keep that in mind too." As if I had a say in the matter as to when you wanted to enter the world, Dr. Wittman was hoping to be the OB to deliver you.
I returned home around 2:30 and was sitting down to send an e-mail to my classroom parents about the current update and let them know that I was eager to return to work on Thursday after a week long stretch of mild bed rest. However, as I flipped open the laptop and was clicking on the "interwebs", I had the following 3-second thought process and occurrences...Hmm, that was an interesting fart, what a relief...Why am I peeing my...Oh my goodness, my water just broke. In an instant my jeans (1 of 2 pairs of pants that fit at the time) were soaked to my ankles and I was sitting in a warm puddle of water. I believe I then grinned from ear to ear, got emotional with a few happy tears and slowly waddled into our bathroom. On the way to the bathroom I called Molly (sorry Chad) and when she answered the phone the first thing she said was, "Your water just broke, didn't it?" I remained calm and said, "Sure did." I then called your daddy and when he answered the phone I believe I had a bit of laughter in my voice and calmly said, "Babe, I think you need to head home...my water just broke." I believe his response was something like, "Um, okay. I'll be there right away."
The time in between me hanging up the phone with daddy and him arriving at home the following happened...
As I was standing in our bathroom I reached for your daddy's towel (of course I wasn't going to use mine) and spread it out on the bathroom floor. I proceeded to get undressed and text a handful of family members and friends...mom, Sonja, Kaely, Teagan, Rolan, Candace, Danielle and Andria. Once undressed I hopped in the shower to rinse off and continue to calm myself. Afterwards I put on my 2nd pair of pants that fit at the time, my comfy maternity yoga pants, and proceeded to get dressed in time for your daddy to arrive home. As he opened the door the first contraction after my water breaking occurred, which was about 30 minutes. Now that was a contraction, enough for me to not to be able to greet daddy when he opened the door and to stable myself against the wall in the entry way. The week before when we had our false alarm, we had packed everything in the car, including your car seat and our overnight bags. We had a few odd and end items to grab, cell phone charger, a few toiletries and daddy grabbed his book and the newspaper.
As we were walking out to the car, which was parked in the driveway, the sun was shining and the sky was absolutely bright blue. A perfect day for your arrival. Just as I got to the hood of the car another contraction hit and I bent over to brace myself on the hood. As I did so, another huge gush of water went down my legs and as daddy walked around the front path I turned around and we both started laughing. It looked like I had peed my pants and daddy asked if I wanted to change. As I continued to laugh, I told him that I didn't have another pair of pants that fit so he ran back inside to get a towel for me to sit on for our ride to the hospital.
I can't recall what I was thinking on the way to the hospital, but I remember both of us being happy and smiling...I probably was even tearing up with happy emotions. When we got to the hospital we parked relatively close to the main entrance and proceeded to laugh (or at least I was) about my "Oops, I peed my pants" attire. We snapped a photo in the parking garage for evidence of the wet mess, but it didn't turn out very well.
We got into the Family Maternity Center and they we all ready for us because on the way to the hospital I called my doctor and they called ahead for us. I signed a few things, we both got our hospital bracelets and were greeted by nurse Jacqui. As we settled into the room, Molly and Candace showed up shortly after.
So there we were, in our hospital room, me dressed in my fashion model mu mu-robe with the flap open in the back (apparently all the hospital world enjoys seeing everyone's butt) getting registered and settled in for who knew how many days ahead. Nurse Jacqui sat at her little computer and proceeded to ask us many questions about the pregnancy, our family health history and our birth plan. Once the interviewing was over another cervix exam was in order and to everyone's surprise I was progressing quite quickly and was about 6 cm. I can't recall how far effaced I was. At this point I had not sat or laid down in the bed because the contractions were easier to get through standing up, slightly bent over and holding myself up with my hands on the end of the bed. In between contractions we were all talking, laughing and having surreal moments of your day finally being here. As the contractions intensified, and with me in the same position, apparently I would stand up on my tip toes and sway back and forth while breathing deep. At about 7 cm I had a couple of really intense contractions and began crying, telling your daddy that I didn't want to feel another strong contraction like that again. I remember feeling a slight sense of fear and wondering if this is the pain I am feeling now (which I believe I have a very high pain tolerance) then how was I going to get through this. Your daddy, Molly and Candace continued to reassure me, support me and be by my side as the pain increased. Then the epidural procedures began.
Prior to going into delivery and throughout the pregnancy I had more anxiety and fear of getting an epidural than actually delivering you. I can recall my anxiety level rising and I believe I began to cry more. Again, your daddy was by my side the entire time...or so I thought. The nurse prepped me for the epidural which meant hooking me up to an additional bag of fluids and waiting about 20 minutes for the fluid to all go into my system. Had I known beforehand that this was a step in the process, I probably would've asked for the epidural much sooner. Once the fluids were in my system, the anesthesiologist entered the room, introduced himself and began sharing with us the procedure for administering the epidural. As I sat on one side of the bed with my back facing the anesthesiologist, your daddy stood in front of me so I could hang onto him during contractions. The anesthesiologist talked me through the entire process. He shared with me when he was cleaning the area on my back, giving me a local anesthetic, and inserting the epidural. I remember that he had to remind me to not move, even during contractions which was extremely hard to do and to arch my back like a cat, also hard to do with the continued contractions. Once the epidural was in place I laid back down in bed, not realizing that your daddy was not longer standing in front of me. I do not recall when he let go of me, but when I laid down I saw him sitting in a chair, his elbows resting on his knees and his head between his hands. He was white as a ghost...beyond white.
I really can't recall the next couple of minutes, and I believe that was partly due to the drugs kicking in. My pain was gone and I couldn't feel anything from my belly button down. The laughter, joking and happy conversations re-entered the atmosphere and all was pleasant and seemed somewhat normal again. By this time it was about 8:30 and I was definitely in a happier place.
After the epidural, came the catheter. Nurse Diane, whom did not have as much a sense of humor as Nurse Jacqui, proceeded to insert the catheter; however, as I was being rolled over onto my back a fountain of pee shot up in the air and almost hit the nurse in the face. Serves her right I suppose for lacking in the sense of humor department. This instantly brought laughter to the room, minus the nurse. I was crying I was laughing so hard and I believe it was the same for Chad, Molly and Candace. Once the catheter was in I was good to go. The contractions that I was feeling seemed practically non-existent and my body was completely numb from the belly button down...this was an eerie feeling. Nurse Diane then checked my progression and said that I was 10 cm and almost 100% effaced...it was close to pushin' time.
Around 10:00 the pushing began. I couldn't really tell when the contractions were at their strongest so I had to have my hand upon my abdomen in order to feel the muscles contracting. I also had to rely on Molly and Candace as they watched the uteran activity monitor and when they said push, I began to push. Because I couldn't feel anything, Candace was on my right leg and Molly was on the left leg while your daddy was up by my head reminding me to breathe and and encouraging me through everything. Nurse Jacqui said I had to push like I was pushing a watermelon up towards the ceiling. As it was extremely difficult to feel anything it was even more difficult to think about trying to push something up towards the ceiling. As a joke, and in between contractions, Nurse Jacqui made a target and taped on the t.v. that was high and in sight as I began pushing. For the next two hours the pushing continued and I began to get very tired. The contractions were about every 1-2 minutes so there was continuous pushing. During the contractions I did between 3-5 pushes and at times I felt as if I was pushing so hard that my face was turning purple. I believe your daddy had to remind me to breath quite a few times. It was exciting to hear that little comments from Molly, Candace and the nurse..."There he is." "I can see a little curl." "Oh, he's getting closer." All of this was encouraging, but I was quickly wearing out.
After a couple of hours and exhaustion settling in, I remember commenting on how I thought everything would be easier if I could at least feel a little bit as to what was going on down there. Again, my body was completely numb from the belly button down and the moment that Candace or Molly let go of one of my legs it flopped to the side. A couple of times a leg almost fell off the bed. It was all entertaining to say the least. Nurse Jacqui's shift was up at 11:00 and she decided to stick around for your delivery. She had already been through so much with us that she couldn't resist going home and not seeing you be born. I believe that at one point Dr. Dydell came in to see how we were progressing and to check on the overall status of everything. She quickly agreed that the epidural should be backed off enough for me to feel a little bit so I could be more successful on my pushes. The anesthesiologist returned and lowered the epidural level. Almost instantly the feeling was different. I could feel when a contraction was approaching and I could now feel where I needed to push. At some point within the next hour your head and shoulder got stuck on my upper pubic bone and the pressure was almost unbearable. The nurses kept telling me that the moment your head was under the pubic bone I would feel a huge relief.
At about this time Dr. Dydell returned and was almost frantic when she saw how far we had progressed. As she was quickly being dressed for your delivery she was telling me to not push. The urge to not push while contracting was very hard and the pressure on my pubic bone seemed even more intense. The time between her dressing, the two contractions that I had and her being in place and ready to go for your delivery almost seemed to be the longest yet shortest time frame of the entire process. The pain was almost unbearable and your daddy shared with me that at this point I really started crying and said I couldn't do it anymore. I just wanted it to be over with and to be holding you in my arms. As throughout the entire process your daddy continued to encourage and support me.
I felt another contraction coming on and I thought to myself, this is going to be it. I want to be done with pushing and I wanted the pubic pressure and pain to go away. I pushed with everything I had left in me and just as nurse Jacqui said, there was a pressure relief. At this point, I thought your head had just dipped under the pubic bone, but Dr. Dydell loudly commanded for me to push again and within the next couple of seconds you were laying on my chest, looking up at me and it was then, and only then, I was able to breath, relax and thank God for everything. Just knowing that you were alive and okay and in my arms was unlike any overwhelming feeling that I had expected. You cried, but only a couple little wimpers and the moment you heard my voice and looked up at me, your eyes said there you are mommy, I'm going to be okay.
The next moments were surreal and I honestly can't recall what happened. I was to overwhelmed with the thought of you, a miracle from God, finally in my arms and the exhaustion of pushing being over. Dr. Witman wanted you to be at the earliest 37 weeks. Well, my little boy, you entered this world 53 minutes of being 37 weeks. Impeccable timing! I'm not sure how long you laid on my chest, but at some point you were removed for weighing, measuring and a few other things. Dr. Dydell completed some stitching as the nurses prepped for all the post birth tests. At some point your daddy gave you a bath, but by this time I was exhausted.
You entered the world on March 7th at 12:53 a.m. weighing 7 lbs. 4 oz. and 19 inches long.
You are perfect. Simply perfect.
Our love for you is unlike anything we can explain. We are so blessed with family and friends that have supported us through everything. And without question, a special thank you to Molly and Candace for being there and supporting all three of us as you entered the world.
We love you little Will.
Mommy (and Daddy)
