Sick and Pregnant

Good morning little one,

The past few days have been challenging because I have been sick with some sort of bronchial-cold-like-sickness.  I can't even begin to imagine what you feel or hear as I'm coughing my lungs up and rattling your living quarters.  You are a little trooper.

It's official.  We've made it to the third trimester.  We are 27 weeks (almost 28) and I can't hardly believe it.  You have very little time left "cookin", as your daddy says, and I feel pretty lucky with how easy it's been "cookin" you.  I can only hope that when you enter the world you will be just as easy to take care of.

As I was feeling you move this morning I was thinking about how this spring will be the first in quite a few years where we are not saddened by the loss of a baby, but rather rejoicing over you.  In my eyes, you truly are a miracle for us.

Twenty seven and half weeks...what's going on with you?  There are not a lot of changes this week.

• You are about 15 inches long.
• You weigh about 2 pounds.
• Your eyelids which have been fused closed for the past 11-12 weeks can now open and close

Your mommy...

• Delighted to be in the third trimester.
• I am feeling more round ligament pain, which is slightly uncomfortable, but completely bearable.
• Every now and then an uncomfortable kick is felt in the bladder, side, and other areas which feels like you are trying to escape.  
• I'm hungry!  All the time!  Although I eat about 5 bites and I feel full.
• I'm experiencing less heartburn, but I've changed my diet slightly to help reduce this.
• My sweet tooth has returned.  Oh. My. Goodness.  My sweet tooth is out of control.  
• My lower back is beginning to hurt more and if I sit for too long it's difficult to stand up.
• Has been having weird dreams.
• Enjoys the kicks and all your movements tremendously.

We have many things we need to do to get ready for your entrance into the world.  We've got some time, but before we know it, you will be here.  

Hang on tight as I continue to rattle your living quarters for the next couple of days as I try to kick this cold.  

Love you,

Mommy

26 Weeks

Hello little one...

As of yesterday you are 26 weeks, which means I have approximately 14 weeks until you are in my arms.  I can't believe it!  

What's going on with you:

• You are about 2 pounds.  For only being 2 pounds you sure do pack a mean punch/kick.  
• You are about 13 1/2 inches long.
• You are hiccuping, although I haven't felt it yet.
• All five of your senses are fully developed. 
• You should be growing hair, but considering your daddy and I were both bald until about 2 years old, the cue-ball look might be in your future.
• Your mommy can now see you move from the outside.  Love it!

What's going on with your mommy:

• I am in the last and final week of the 2nd trimester.
• My uterus is about the size of a soccer ball.  
• I have been experiencing minor uterine contractions, especially in the evenings.  
• I've also been experiencing minor back and side pain due to uncomfortable sleeping positions.  I'm a stomach sleeper and the whole side sleeping is not my cup of tea.
• I'm right on track according to weight, gaining 20 pounds.  I still weigh less than Chad and I'm really hoping I don't break 200.  
• In the past week, I started experiencing heart-burn.  Ouch!  I suppose I should cut back on the tomatoes, lemons, satsumas and other acidic foods.
• I still want to eat beef...no chicken or fish for this mama.
• I love how I feel...very healthy.

All is right in your little world, "Herm".  Keep snug and keep kicking.  

Love,

Mommy

A Name?

Good morning, little one.

As I sit here and dream of holding you in my arms in a few months, I'm pondering what will be your name.  Every morning your daddy reads names from the newspaper, which quickly get vetoed because they are usually names of convicts or athletes with bizarre names.  He also shares names from the many books that he is reading at a given time and every now and then a name may sound intriguing, but nothing has seemed to jump out at us.  We listen very attentively to everything around us in hopes of hearing a name that we will like.  I fear that "Herm" is going to be on your birth certificate.

We want a name for you that is not trendy, era related or way off the charts unusual.  We want a name that is easy to say and spell, nothing weird.  We've been looking at Irish and Scottish names (I know, there are some unusual spellings) since your last name is MacDonald, but again, have yet to find something that really stands out to us.

This last Sunday on the way to church, your daddy started saying names aloud, but what I didn't realize was he was reading street signs.  Finally when he said, "Bothell", I caught on to what he was doing...he's a funny one, your daddy.

An article was posted on Facebook the other day about names that have been banned in countries around the world.  Here's the article...http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/10-illegal-baby-names-194006397-3.html  I promise you that we won't be naming you any of these names.  What were people thinking?

When we do have a name for you, something other than "Herm", I assure you it will be perfect.  We've also decided that when we have a name for you, we won't be sharing it with anyone until after you are here.  I've heard too many stories in the past few weeks of how a name has been picked, shared and then at the last minute or after the baby has been born, the name changed.  Therefore, we won't be sharing a name until you are here.

You will have a name...something other than "Herm"...it's just a matter of when and what it will be.

Keep kicking little one.  I love it.

Love,
Mommy

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to my sweet, baby boy.  We love you, "Herm" (and we need to figure out a name for you).

Love,

Mommy

Gia Mae

Dear Herm,

There is one little girl in particular that is so enamored by you and she hasn't even met you yet.  Her name is Gia.   Gia Mae.  She's the cutest and sassiest thing you will ever meet, but she will also steal your heart.  Her bright blue eyes and innocent little smile are adorable.  She is 3, almost 4.  Every time I see her she wants to know how you are doing, if you are growing and if she can feel you move.  She has yet to feel you move and I can hardly wait for the day she does.  She's picked a name out for you..."Dorin".  We won't name you this, I promise.

Tonight I was laying on the floor and without saying a word Gia laid down beside me, rested her ear on my stomach and carefully placed the palm of her hand face down on you.  She whispered to you, "I love you, Dorin."  Of course, it took everything in me to hold back the tears.

Sleep snug little one.

Love,
Mommy

Gia Mae adores you and I can't wait for her to meet you.

Your Daddy...and A Few Other Things

Hi Herm,

Your Daddy is a very gentle, kind, helpful, determined, patient and funny man.  I can only hope that you have the wonderful qualities and characteristics that he does.  Yesterday, for the first time, he felt you move.  The smile on his face will forever be in my memory.  It's incredible how the tiniest, yet most miraculous thing in life can bring such great joy.

We "oooo-ed" and "awe-ed" at church today over another couples' newborn.  I We just can't wait to hold you in my our arms.

Daddy and Grandpa Mac are working on your room today.  They've actually been working on it all weekend and I'm very grateful.

Here's a couple recent pics of you growing...or rather your mommy growing...

 21 Weeks

24 weeks

Keep kickin' away...we love it.

Love,

Mommy

Showing It Off

Every morning I awake to look at you in the mirror.  I look at you in awe and disbelief and then with complete joy.  I love seeing you grow from the outside and there are days when I just can't stop caressing you.  

 There you are at 19 weeks.  

(Photo thanks to Molly Barrans.)

Bumpin' bellies with Laura who's about 7 weeks ahead of  me.

I've been told by many that I need to take more pictures of you growing, Herm.  Hopefully from here on out (which I'm now at 22 weeks) I will try to post a weekly photo.  

Good night sweet, little one.

Love,

Mommy

My Sweet Boy

Herm, you are a boy.
Our sweet baby boy.
I'm beginning to enjoy our ultrasound interactions.
You are real.
Your tiny hands and feet are so delicate.
You have a tiny nose.
You are long...and skinny.
You're moving a lot and I love it.
You are ours.

I love you.
Mommy

I Love You

Good morning little one.  

Here is a picture that Molly took of your mommy at 5 months. 

The story behind this photo?

We were at our annual fall couples get away.

Fort Flagler this year.

Beings that I wasn't drinking, 

I had to have fun with everyone else's drinking cups.

I wrote funny comments on everyone's cup, 

except for your daddy's.

I wrote, I love you.

Then he "photo-bombed",

but it turned out perfect.

We love you....

and Molly's homemade Kahlua

that was inside the cup. 

Big Day

Hi Herm,

Tomorrow is the big day.  Well, not the big day, but a big day nonetheless.  Mommy and daddy are going to find out if you are a boy or a girl.  It's all very exciting and the anticipation has been driving not only me, but many others crazy.  Aunt Kaely has asked that you aren't modest tomorrow and I agree.  This will be the only time you hear your mommy saying this, but you better be showing off your parts proudly.

You continue to kick and move and I love every minute of it.  You are very close to kicking hard enough that daddy can feel you too.  Not yet, but close.

We got your bassinet today and walking into our room and seeing your little bed is somewhat surreal.  Tonight I thought how cozy, comforting and a miracle it will be to hold you in my arms.  Again, a surreal moment, but exciting.  

Keep growing strong...and be nice to mommy.  I'd like to have more than 2-3 days in a row of keeping down food.

I love you.

Mommy

Wild Thing

Wild thing (da, da, da)You make my heart sing (da, da, da)...

Herm, you are moving like crazy and I love every minute of it.  You are definitely more active in the evening just as I'm laying in bed and finally resting for the day...and I've finished either a bowl of vanilla icecream with chocolate sauce or a fudgesicle.  Periodically, I feel you throughout the day and with great excitement, I can't help from sharing with my students every time I feel you move.  I absolutely love it!

Keep up the acrobatic moves, little wild thing because you are definitely making this mommy's heart sing. 

Love,
Mommy

Kicks?

Butterfly twitters?  No. 

Gas bubbles?  No. 

A little baby kicking?  Yes, that's what it feels like. 

Hey little Herm, I'm fairly certain I have been feeling you, but probably won't know for sure for another couple of weeks.  It started last Satruday...I'm thinking you were just as unhappy about the Vandal loss as the rest of us and was letting me know.  However, I wasn't sure if it was actually you.  

Then I felt the same little feeling on Sunday and Monday and every day this week.  I'm not sure...but I think it's you.

You wake up every evening around 9:00 and as I lay flat on my back I feel your little movements.  The feeling is surreal.

Everyone knows about you.  Everyone is so excited for us...it's a little overwhelming, but still exciting.

We found out if you are a boy or a girl on November 7th.

I can't wait to see you in a few weeks, but until then...keep kicking away.

Love,
Mommy

Busy Fall

Hello little one.  It's been a busy-crazy-hectic fall.  The beginning of each school year keeps me busy and on my toes.  You've been a trooper with the long hours and hard work your mama has been putting you through.  Here's a little bit of what's been going on in our lives the past month or so...

Walks around Green Lake.

Tri Delta wedding in Idaho...it was great to share

the news of you and catch up with a 

couple of sisters.

Amy flew home from Germany for the wedding.  

So great to see her and give her a hug. 

A gift from Grandma.  

I can't wait to wrap you in this and make you some food. 

The book on making baby food was your daddy's.

(Thank you, Sonja.  I really appreciate the blanket and book.)

While at camp, I shared with a few Kirk staff about you.

The rest of the Kirk staff found out when we got back from camp.

We went to our first Huskies game...

You will not be a Huskies fan, but it was fun going to the game with Danielle.

This is Danielle.

She has a little one too that is about 7 weeks older than you.

You already have a little friend. 

Hopefully everything will start to slow down here soon.  We are going to camp with the 5th graders this next week and then we have conferences to get through.  Once that is all over with, we should be in the clear...a little relaxation, catching up on movies and knitting is just around the corner...especially now that fall is officially here.  

Love you little one.  I get to see you on the 10th.  I can't hardly wait!

Love,

Mommy

Your Family Knows!

Hi Herm.  You are twelve weeks and with how strong you seem to be, your daddy and I thought it was time to begin sharing with others.  The rest of your family now knows about you.  They found out about you by receiving the following letter in the mail.

Dear (family members' name here), 


Hi.  My mommy is actually writing this letter on my behalf because I am unable to write just yet.  I should probably introduce myself.  My name is "Herm" or "Hermie" as my daddy calls me; however, this will change...hopefully.  I'm almost 12 weeks old and due to make a grand appearance into the world on March 28th, which I hear, is the same birthday as my cousin Reese.  How exciting!


I'm currently about the size of a large lemon.  I've been busy developing my nervous system, hair (hopefully more than daddy), my skin, my GI tract, pancreas, liver, thyroid, skeleton, blood system, connective tisue, genital system and my muscles.  But wait, there's more!  I already have a two-chambered heart, air passages in my lungs and cerebral hemispheres in my brain.  I have an appendix too, which is kind of cool; although, I've heard that it is almost completely useless.  But it's there now!  My fingers, toes, elbows and knees can bend and wiggle.  I've already lost my tail, thank goodness, because it is somewhat uncomfortable and gets in the way of my acrobatic moves.  


Daddy and mommy are doing pretty good...for the most part.  They seem to have many emotions, but most importantly they are positive and eager to meet me in 6 months.  I currently have a diet high in iron and protein as mommy has been eating a lot of red meat (this is unusual for her, I guess).  Daddy doesn't seem to mind one bit.  I've also had a diet high in fiber, as mommy has also been eating a lot of fruit.  She just can't seem to get enough peaches, nectarines, grapes, blueberries, raspberries, cherries, watermelon and honeydew.  Mmm, they're tasty.  All my developing has caused for mommy to not feel so well and she spends a lot of time sleeping in the afternoons.  


I can't wait to meet my new family in 6 months!


Love,


Hermie


Vandal Class of '34

This weekend we spent time at the Bear Paw and the Madsens also found out about you.  They are beyond excited, especially Papa Pete.  Annie and Don were really happy to hear about you too...in fact, you brought Don to tears.  Everyone already loves you, Herm.  The love is a little overwhelming for your mommy, but at the same time very comforting.

I hope I get to see you in a week.

I love you.
Mommy

Growing

Hi my little one. I got to see you again this past Friday and you had grown so much in a week.  You are about the size of a lemon.  Why you are compared to fruit I have no idea, but the nurse said that that is about how big you are.

You kicked and waved hello, which absolutely made my day...and a few tears of joy trickled down my cheeks.  Your heart beat was 168, which is right on track.  I saw your brain hemispheres, your little toes and fingers and your little belly.   You are cute.  

Here you are at about 10 1/2 weeks.

We go back in to see the doctor in 2 1/2 weeks.  By then we will be into the second trimester.  My eyes are filling with tears of joy as I type this.  You are absolutely awe-inspiring.  

I continue to pray for you...as do so many others.

I love you,

Mommy

I See You

Little one, I don't even truly know you yet, but I'm already in love.  By surprise, the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound and my heart always skips a beat at the thought of doing an ultrasound.  A skip of beat for fear of not seeing a heart beat, but also the excitement of getting to see you again.

I was emotional.  Crying.  Nervous.  However, there you were and you had grown a lot in 10 days.  I saw your little stubs for arms and legs and I saw the umbilical cord.  As always, you looked perfect.  Just perfect.  Your heart beat was a fast little flutter.  This makes me so happy.

I'm elated that I got to see you today!

See you next Friday.
Love,
Mommy

Worries

Good morning little one.

It's been a little over a week since I've written to you, but I think of you every second.  Quite frankly I wonder and worry if you are still alive.  A huge fear that I battle with daily.  I wish I could have an ultrasound weekly to see that you are okay.  Every lower abdomen twitch I feel I freak out.  I wish I could just relax...I don't think this is going to happen any time soon.

We spent the last week in Hawaii and you enjoyed the Hawaiian mud pie ice cream....every day.  It was a nice, relaxing trip and I'm thankful for Keri and her kind heart.  She was constantly asking, "How's Herm doing?"  I think she already loves you too.

Dr. Wittman is going to meet you for the first time today.  Hopefully we will get to hear your heartbeat.

Praying for you.
Love,
Mommy

Breakfast of Champions

Hey Herm,

I hoped you enjoyed your breakfast this morning, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, because your mommy loved it!

The nausea has kicked in full force.  It started as a suttle, "I don't feel so good." here and there, but now it is a constant queasy feeling.  ALL. DAY. LONG.

It's okay though.  I'll forgive you.  This is just a great sign that you are growing healthy and strong.

Can't wait to see your little heart beat tomorrow.  I'm scared that it won't be there, but I continue to pray for you and I'm trying hard to trust in God.

I love you.
Mommy

P.S.  Enjoy the slice of sourdough bread and ginger ale for lunch.  It's all I can seem to eat right now.

Saltines and Water

Hi Herm.

Today was not so pleasant.  

All I could eat were these...

And drink this...

A diet of saltine crackers and water is probably not the best for you, 

but until I'm feeling better the crackers for you will have to do.  

Love,

Mommy

P.S.  My nausea is just a good sign that you are doing great

 and I will take every minute of it...

if it means you are healthy and 

growing just as you are supposed to.  

Corn Dogs

Diet from August 7th...

Breakfast (8:00):  A bowl of strawberries, a string cheese and a small cup of coffee with cream

Snack (9:30):  1/2 of a maple bar (first really sweet thing in about 4 weeks)...I could barely handle it.

Lunch (12:30): 2 small corn dogs (all beef), 1/4 cup hummus and pita chips

(I crashed on the couch between 1:00 and 5:00.)

Snack (5:00):  Peppered salami and cheese sandwich with sweet hot mustard

Dinner: (7:30): Bacon spinach salad with honey mustard dressing

Snack (8:30): Raspberry milkshake...yum!  This definitely hit the spot!

At church yesterday there was a kid who sat in front of me that had a yellow t-shirt on with a corn dog advertisement.  I have no idea what the pastor's message was (I think it was something about revenge) because all I could think about was eating a corn dog.  Again, I don't quite understand the whole "craving" thing, but for an hour and a half all I could think about was a corn dog and if I didn't get that corn dog right away after church I think I would've eaten my arm off.  

I'm so thankful I have an understanding, very patient and loving husband because, without question, he pulled into the nearest Fred Meyer parking lot, dropped me off up front and waited for his pregnant wife to come strolling out of the store grinning from ear to ear with a box of all beef frozen corn dogs.  That was one of the best corn dogs I have ever eaten.  

Thanks, babe, for taking care of your pregnant wife.

Diet

Dear little one,

I feel like I should start tracking what I am eating.  I want to do this for a couple of reasons; to actually realize what my diet is and I also find it entertaining what this mama's body is wanting.  The whole craving thing is bizarre to me and my idea behind the cravings is that what I crave is what my body needs (or I am lacking).  I'm not sure how accurate my logic is, nonetheless, tracking my diet will be entertaining.

I'll start logging my diet from yesterday...

Saturday, August 6th

Breakfast (9:30): BLT sandwich and a cup of coffee with cream

Snack (10:30):  About a 1/4 cup of bread and butter pickles and 4 slices of peppered salami (weird)
Lunch (1:00):  Peppered salami, string cheese and saltine crackers
Snack (2:30-ish):  (Aidan's birthday party)  A ton of strawberries...I couldn't get enough
Dinner: (6:00):  Cheeseburger on the grill with pickles, mustard and ketchup...this has been an ongoing desire since day one.

Current aversions:  Anything sweet.  What?  This is very much unlike me.  I usually have the biggest sweet tooth.  I also can't stand the sight or smell of anything related to chicken, including eggs.

That's about it for now.

Later, little one.

Love,
Mommy

Frame of Mind

Good morning, Hermie.

Your daddy and I were talking this morning and with you being the 4th we find it interesting that our (my) frame of mind is different than before.  With the first pregnancy I think I was naive to the idea of losing our baby.  Nobody talks about miscarriage, although it is very common.  Therefore, I guess I never really thought about it...and I was so excited to be pregnant.  The second pregnancy I was in denial.  I was disconnected due to fear of losing another baby.  I struggle with the "what if".  What if I would've gone to the doctor right away?  Could the loss of our second had been prevented?  This "what if" weighs me down a lot even though I try to look to the positive.  The third pregnancy I was angry.  I didn't want to be pregnant.

My mind frame is different with you little one.  I physically feel different.  My symptoms are strong.  I saw your fluttering, little heart beat.  My clothes are already snug.  I'm excited to share with others...but at the same time a little hesitant.  I look forward to every doctor's visit....even though I'm a little nervous too.  I'm already thinking about what it will be like to hold you, to hear your little cry and to look you in the eyes and call you ours.

I continually pray for you.  I enjoy this new frame of mind.  I love you.

Love,
Mommy

Heart Beat

Dear little one,

I saw you yesterday and I couldn't stop crying.  Tears of joy, excitement, and fear.   Your little heart was beating so fast and you seemed happy as can be.  Dr. Gavrila said you look great, for the little sesame seed that you are.  Molly was there too and she was so happy to see your little heart beating.  I'm so thankful that she was there...it meant a lot to me.

I can only hope that you will continue to grow healthy and be just right.  I can't wait to see you again in two weeks.

Love,
Mommy

For The Love, McDonald's

  Oh, McDonald's.  I've never been a fan, but apparently, little one, you like it.  You like it A LOT!  A number 5:  sausage McMuffin with cheese, yummy-greasy-potato thingy, and an orange juice.  I'm going to go with the beef (or whatever that is that's in the sausage).  That's why you like it so much.  I hope the McDonald's craving goes away because not only does it disgust me slightly, but it's also expensive.

It's all for a good reason, right?

Praying for you little one.
Love,
Mommy

Aunt Teagan

Aunt Teagan found out about you last week.

We met in Portland for a lunch date.

I couldn't keep her from you.

I made her a hat...from you.  

It's WSU and Eastern colors.

Aunt Teagan teared up and grinned from ear to ear.

She's excited to meet you.

She and Uncle Kurt are praying for you.

I think they already love you.

How could they  not?

You are perfect.

Love,

Mommy

Herm-Hermie-Hermoine

Oh little one.  Your daddy has come up with a name for you.  "Herm".  As in hermaphrodite.  Apparently he thinks you have both a penis and a vagina.  I suppose you do.  Anyway, daddy finds it entertaining to call you "Herm" or "Hermie"...at one point he did go one step further to call you "Hermoine", just in case you turn out to be a girl.  Your daddy thinks he's a funny one. He is, really.  

I don't care if you are a boy or a girl.  I just want you to be healthy...and make it.  

Love,

Mommy

Burger and Fries

This mama can't seem to get enough of burger and fries.  Okay, who am I kidding.  I just want the burger. 

Your daddy is thanking you that I want to eat beef all the time. 

Thanks little one.  

Love,

Your Mommy

Fruit and Beef

Good morning wee little one.

Today I'm going in for the first round of blood work...I know there is going to be many more to come.  We just have to make sure that you are okay.  It makes me nervous only because I want to see positive numbers.  Praying that all will be okay.  

All I want to eat is fruit and beef.  Your mommy doesn't generally eat beef so this is very unusual.  We went camping with the Barrans this past weekend and I had a huge rib eye steak and a cheeseburger for dinner. I also ate almost a pound of beef jerky on the way home from Idaho. It's down right crazy and somewhat confusing.  

I told Julie Toomey about you yesterday and she is praying for you too.  She started crying because of the exciting news.  I hope she gets to hold you in her arms too.  

Mom and Eric are coming this weekend and I think we are going to tell them about you.  The plan is to surprise them with two baby beenies sitting on their pillows in the guest room.  I can't wait to see their expressions.  You daddy is a little hesitant to share with others...he thinks that if anything happens to you it's easier to tell people than to "untell" people.  I want the support, love and prayers.  

I'm off to the doctor and then headed to Trader Joe's to pick up some steaks...and maybe some fruit. Happy eating little one.  

Love,

Mommy

Decision Made

To My Sweet Baby...

Hello.  It's your mommy.  

It's hard for me to believe that this is happening.  I'm challenged with fear, but am trying to look to the positive.  I fear losing you because I've already lost three.  I already have a connection.  A connection that I can't explain.  Maybe it's the desire or yearning to hold you in my arms.  I can only hope that this will be true.  

I was terrified when I first saw the truth.  The truth on the pregnancy test.  I called Molly.  I hope you get to snuggle in her arms one day too.  I was shaking, crying and pacing.  I was (am) scared.  Without question, Molly loaded her three into the car and came over right away to comfort.  Another hope...a hope that you get to laugh and play with Aidan, Gia and Liam.  The first day, my heart was scared...an unexplained fear.  

Your daddy found out about you when he came home from work.  He knew the moment he looked at me...and I think he saw the pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter.  I wish I had a picture of his grin that was from ear to ear.  I hope you have your daddy's dimples.  

A week has gone by and it is getting easier to deal with the emotions of fear.  I say that now, but that may change from day to day.  

My sweet baby, know that God loves you and He is protecting you.  

Love,

your mommy

 

(5 weeks)