Decision Made

To My Sweet Baby...

Hello.  It's your mommy.  

It's hard for me to believe that this is happening.  I'm challenged with fear, but am trying to look to the positive.  I fear losing you because I've already lost three.  I already have a connection.  A connection that I can't explain.  Maybe it's the desire or yearning to hold you in my arms.  I can only hope that this will be true.  

I was terrified when I first saw the truth.  The truth on the pregnancy test.  I called Molly.  I hope you get to snuggle in her arms one day too.  I was shaking, crying and pacing.  I was (am) scared.  Without question, Molly loaded her three into the car and came over right away to comfort.  Another hope...a hope that you get to laugh and play with Aidan, Gia and Liam.  The first day, my heart was scared...an unexplained fear.  

Your daddy found out about you when he came home from work.  He knew the moment he looked at me...and I think he saw the pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter.  I wish I had a picture of his grin that was from ear to ear.  I hope you have your daddy's dimples.  

A week has gone by and it is getting easier to deal with the emotions of fear.  I say that now, but that may change from day to day.  

My sweet baby, know that God loves you and He is protecting you.  

Love,

your mommy

 

(5 weeks)